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Behind The Blog

Things I don’t always tell you about —

14 comments

if you work really hard and are kind, amazing things will happen

Fair warning, this post is somewhat overly honest–

You may or may not remember me telling you about visiting NYC a few weeks ago and getting the opportunity to meet the editors of Better Homes & Gardens at the stylemaker workshop. Well, I also got the pleasure of meeting a few lovely bloggers that I instantly hit it off with, like Hilary of Dean Street Society. Hilary just released her upcoming book The 4-Part Entrepreneur Cocktail, and asked if I would share a few thoughts on a portion of it along with 29 other ladies as part of a Happy Hour blog tour to celebrate the launch. Basically it’s everything you wish you could talk about openly with a bunch of entrepreneurs, so of course I obliged. I decided I’d talk about part four of her book which is Saying No to Overlwhelm and more importantly the things they don’t always tell you about it.

First off, I’m no pro at saying no to over-committing and overwhelming myself, but I’ve gotten much better recently. Even with that said, there are times where you just can’t control life and things happen but work doesn’t stop. For instance, the last few weeks you’ve just seen lots of holidays DIY’s, pretty sparkling round-ups, clever gift ideas, and sweet recipes, but in reality I’ve been working 80+ hour weeks between my full-time day job and trying to keep up with Sugar & Cloth. Not to mention my grandpa is in ICU, I’m a thousand miles away from all of my family, and I have dreams about missing deadlines or nightmares of my family passing me by while I’m away.

It’s funny, I think people (including myself) are guilty of looking at other blogs and business owners and taking what they see for face value. What they’re not telling you is that to get to that point you’ll lose sleep, regularly cry from sheer stress, sometimes absent-mindedly wander through your house wondering when you’re ever going to get a chance to clean anything, and have to skip the party or buying a new outfit to write tutorials or pay for project supplies instead. It may seem like everyone has it all together but that’s just not true, and I regularly have to remind myself not to compare. And if that’s not quite honest enough, I’ll go ahead and tell you how far from glamorous behind the photos really is.

There’s another misconception that because photos seem so perfect and everything is neatly placed in my home tour, or because I work with recognizable brands every now and then that I must be banking. That’s actually the opposite of true. Starting a business from scratch requires a ton of sacrifices my friends don’t have to make and not just with time, but money. I have no debt from starting Sugar & Cloth, but I spend just as much (if not more) money running it than I make from it. I also hire contributors not because I can necessarily afford it, but because it’s worth the expense to get a break every now and then. These are things that I wish someone would have been honest enough to tell me when I started my company instead of making themselves seem like superheroes.

With that said, even though there are a lot of things that may have been left out, I keep up with it. Though I may not do everything perfectly and there has been a lot of trial and error from starting S+C, I find comfort in believing that if I work really hard and am kind, amazing things will happen… whether I keep up with the next person or not.

If you want a few more tips or candid thoughts you can read what Claire wrote about yesterday and catch Padron tomorrow, and all of the other bloggers here.

photo by Adam Littledale, design by Sugar & Cloth


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Comments

    • Angela says:
      November 23, 2013 at 6:13 am

      Oh, wow! Great post! It’s so nice of you to share your inner thoughts and being so open about it. That’s a good reminder that not everything is always as it seems, behind each “perfect situation” there are so many “imperfect” moments and stuggles. You are doing a really great job here. I thought that you should know! :-)

      Reply
    • valerie says:
      November 23, 2013 at 7:18 am

      Hello. I’m new to your blog and just recently started following it. I found a link through pinterest and then poured through all of your amazing diy posts. It is very evident that you work terribly hard to keep this up. I’m in love with what you do! Your words are honest, yet inspiring. Thanks for sharing a bit of the behind the scenes.

      Reply
    • Kelly @ Studio DIY says:
      November 23, 2013 at 7:44 am

      Great post, Ash. You’re one of the hardest working people I know, and I really appreciate your open honesty about what it all takes. As you know you’re not alone on the no-sleep, regular-cry, where-the-heck-did-all-my-money-go front. =) Hang in there, because that quote you put up is so very very true and you’re already doing amazing things! And there’s always donuts to get you through, too… ;)

      Reply
    • Francesca Stone says:
      November 23, 2013 at 9:17 am

      Yes. yes, yes, yes. It’s nice to hear an honest post that doesn’t sugar coat working hard. It really is difficult. It’s completely inspiring to see what you have been able to achieve even with life getting in the way, and I really hope your Grandpa gets well soon. x

      Reply
    • Alice says:
      November 23, 2013 at 9:26 am

      Ashley, I love how honest you are in this post! You are an amazing person and designer! I love all your crafty DIYs!

      Reply
    • Lisa Chow says:
      November 23, 2013 at 9:40 am

      Hello fellow Houston gal! First time reader (found you via The Everygirl) and how refreshing for this post to be the first to read! I FEEL YA. As an entrepreneur myself, I know how much more work and unglamorous bits are involved than most people realize. Kuddos to you for keeping it real and I look forward to reading more!

      Reply
    • Diana says:
      November 23, 2013 at 9:57 am

      This post is such a breath of fresh air.
      It is so easy when we look through amazing blogs to imagine that the lives of others are only filled with glitter, cocktails and Taj Mahal shaped pinatas. All beautifully photographed of course.
      There is an element of escapism within writing a blog, and in reading them too – but it is so important to take a reality check every now and again. Nobody is expected to be perfect. We should prioritise the things that are important to us.
      Your blog is an inspiration to many, AND you make it look easy, so it is very generous of you to share a little glimpse behind the curtain. A little virtual high five to you. :)

      Reply
    • Stacia says:
      November 23, 2013 at 1:45 pm

      Thank you for your refreshing honesty. I’ve been learning these things slowly myself and, while I still want to pursue the things I am passionate about, it has definitely been a challenge at times. I really appreciate it when someone comes along and is refreshingly honest like this!

      Reply
    • Margo says:
      November 23, 2013 at 1:58 pm

      Thank you for saying all of this! It’s nice to look at pretty photos, and get inspired by the perfect project or recipe, but as a blogger, it’s nice to hear this kind of honesty. I’m positive and up beat on my blog, but what I don’t always tell my readers is that sometimes I spend 3 hours photographing a simple tutorial that takes 20 minutes to make, and by the time I’m done, I’m just over it, and want to eat my feelings. Photographing tutorials is difficult. I do it on my own- I don’t have a second pair of hands to photograph something just the way I want it. It gets frustrating really fast. Knowing that someone finds my projects inspiring is what keeps me going. I also try not to compare myself to other bloggers- especially the big players. I think your blog is inspiring, and the hard work you do will definitely pay off!

      Reply
    • jewel7013 says:
      November 23, 2013 at 3:42 pm

      From someone who personally knows your sacrifices, your determination, your drive, your motivation, your talents, and yes…all the struggles that come with being self employed, I have tremendous admiration for you as a person. I love you so very much…you are my “daughter”. I miss you everyday :)

      As others have already pointed out, blogs should also include glimpses of the person and this post was “heartfelt” and I applaud you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable. xoxo

      Reply
    • reallyprettyuseful says:
      November 24, 2013 at 12:37 am

      Thank you for this post. I’m just starting out with my blog and I agree it’s so hard not to compare my small beginning with someone else’s middle. I also try to remind myself that other bloggers work on their blogs full time, whereas I have two small boys and a part time job. Friends often say to me – it’d be great if you did this or had more pics of that and I just think blimey if you knew how long this all takes you’d be a little more forgiving. Thank you again for writing this for my beginning – now I can be realistic while I journey to my middle. X

      Reply
    • annarosamos says:
      November 24, 2013 at 12:29 pm

      Thank you for this. Seriously, one of the most inspiring posts I’ve ever read about life behind blogging. Everything seem so glamorous and fabulous around the blogosphere that it feels good when realizing that bloggers, actually successful bloggers, are humans too. Many of the things described above, are really close to my feelings too. I might not run a huge blog, or a business of my own, but even trying to develop and evolve my blogging skills is really hard sometimes. It is all about something that you love though, right? I mean even if there is a lot of crying sometimes and not a good income, it still is something that you want to do.. And that’s whats important after all. I’m really sorry for your grandpa and I’m sure your family knows how much you care about them. And again, thank you a lot for sharing your thoughts. Really touching.

      Reply
    • Carrie says:
      November 27, 2013 at 7:55 am

      Thank you so much for your honesty…It’s refreshing to hear the truth, and also to realize that I’m not alone in my own struggles as a creative. You are not alone either, and know that we SO appreciate the inspiration you create each and every day!!! My thoughts are with your family…

      Reply
    • aggiebusAgnes says:
      December 19, 2013 at 4:06 am

      Keep up the good work. Love your blog!!

      Reply
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