Before I delve into this quick thought, I want to say that I’d love to hear your feedback and thoughts on how you may balance your social media presence. As the daughter of a counselor, I’m a firm believer that sometimes you just have to talk things out to figure them out, and I’m super excited to hear your perspective on this topic. So, here goes the story on my trouble with social media…
Ironically, I’ve always loved social media for the most part. I remember when Facebook used to require a college email address in order to sign up, and I had to wait a whole year to catch up to my friends that were a bit older than me before I could join this elite, cool kids club that was known as having a Facebook profile. Clearly a lot has changed between then and now, and fast forward ten years later, here we are discussing this first world problem as we know it. To say it bluntly, I’m a little tired of social media.
I’m a little tired of feeling like my profession (as the editor and main voice behind this blog), that I’m required to jump on every social media train early and corral as much of a following as I can, by being as entertaining and cool as I can look online (and that’s definitely just it). Don’t get me wrong, I love keeping up with friends and being inspired by creatives I’ve never heard of before. I love reading your comments, and the kind things you have to say about the content we create (it really makes my day!). I love that you can even use social media as a way to meet new people locally, or to promote a cause that might not otherwise have a voice. I love that we can find out about injustices in the blink of an eye from one share on Twitter, and that we can all debate the color of a (black and blue) dress as an entire collective group in a matter of days.
As much good that comes from the entertainment, creativity, and information we get from social media, I’m just tired of the pressure to keep up. Yes, there are things we all have to do that coincide with our careers that we have to just look past and keep trucking through for the good stuff, but I’m talking about the grey areas, like the question of what’s sharing too much and what’s sharing too little? Or the competitive side of it that no one really talks about much, where we’re in this quiet race to get as many followers, friends requests, and likes as we can (it’s true, don’t pretend it’s never crossed your mind!).
I think we can all agree it all gets chalked up to “everything in moderation”, or sticking to what’s comfortable to you, and I believe that’s true. I’d just like to start a conversation here by saying maybe I just don’t want to be on Periscope because I’d probably turn blood red in the face from stage fright, or have a small breakdown where I’m eating a cupcake while also crying and talking about my to-do list for that week. Maybe I just want to enjoy hanging out with Jared and our family and friends on the weekends without having to Snapchat live whatever (likely unexciting, mind you) thing that we’re doing, instead of being in the moment. I’m never going to get this time or these experiences back.
As small business owners, we don’t get a ton of time to ourselves or weekends off, and I really cherish the time that we do. I also really cherish just having a quiet moment in between DIY projects that we’re shooting to share here on the blog with you, and sometimes I’d rather just embrace the few minutes of quiet than to style a quick photo and think of the perfect caption for twenty minutes to post on Instagram. I also would rather not post anything, then to post something fake from my day pretending like everything is bows and bubble gum when really I feel like throwing the nearest macaron.
I say all of this, and today I’ll still Instagram something, login to check Facebook, retweet on Twitter.. you name it. I just wanted to use this as a big sigh of relief to have at least said it out loud. I’d love to sort it all out and find my rhythm and pace, the things I’m comfortable with sharing with the online world, and the things I’m not, but I haven’t figured it out yet.
One thing I know for sure, is that I’m super thankful for those of you that care to follow along with this crazy story that is Sugar & Cloth. I’m even thankful for those of you that keep me on my toes with grammar errors, tips and new techniques for DIY, and those of you that just take the time to ask a question so you can make your own S&C project. In return, I want to make sure we’re staying authentic to was feels right, and true, and just what feels like “us” and not what is everyone else. I also want you all to feel that I (we) are just normal, approachable people that don’t live an overly glamorized life (though still thankful for the cool experiences we do get to have), and we have plenty of bad days where no sugar is to be had, too.
I’d love to hear your experiences or take on this!
P.S.- While we’re all on the topic of being open and honest here, I’m SUPER TIRED OF NATIONAL HASHTAG HOLIDAYS. It’s a love/hate relationship that I can’t even keep up with! I laugh, then I cry, then I look for the nearest #smoresday/ #popsicleday/ #cookieday/ #watermelondday/ #dogday/ #younameitday to eat, hug, or photograph…
it seems like not only you have this problem. stay strong, the battle is longer than you think. please share as much as you can, people will stay beside you
Thank you so much for your kind words! XOXO
I just read this post and I don’t know yet how old is it, but I’m one of the passionate enthusiasts of sugar and cloth here in Brazil and your work inspires me deeply to be a better blogger and content producer day by day.
Unfortunately, I must agree with everything I’ve read. I also feel that I have lost more and more moments of my real life to think about content for social media constantly and the problem is that if I try to live only the real life moments, I end up feeling guilty for not being present online, after all, I want that my work on internet growing and, for this to happen, I must always be present on insta, facebook or twitter. But it doesn’t looks like an option. It looks more like a handcuff, doesn’t it?
The worst part for me is that, in my case, the pressure is still a little bigger. I do everything I do in my blog and I still don’t make money with it, despite the high investments and abdicate so many things in my personal life waiting that my blog grows is a big pressure on my shoulders that makes me feel more and more like i’ve failed, already That sometimes it seems like I’m running after something that is not working.
But seeing brilliant and honest works as yours inspires me and I feel that I must continue and, who knows, one day, i could be a reference of inspiration here in Brazil.
kisses, love u
Hi Math, thank you so so much for the kind and encouraging words. It makes my day to know that we aren’t in this alone :)
I am so glad to hear bloggers I respect and admire voice this concern. I have this concern too, about how blogging is no longer about your content, but also your social media presence. I’m a very private person and social media makes me feel a bit fake. But I also hear you about how you’re spending your weekend and how there’s this pressure to share everything on social media, and if your are having a boring day, there’s this underlying stress to … idk, do something not boring for the like. I wrote more about my thoughts on this in the post below. It’s mostly about pinterest and how I feel like there’s no point creating something if it’s not going to get a ton of pins, which is not what being a DIYer is about.
http://aweekfromthursday.com/2015/05/blogger-thoughts-perfectionism-pinterest-and-self-promotion/
Thank you for writing this! It’s everything I’ve been feeling lately. I’ve been blogging for years but have yet to really gain a solid following — my accounts are still pretty small-beans and sometimes I feel the pressure to do more/be better/sign up for new media channels/never have time to breathe. And though I love sharing and learning and challenging my own thoughts and others’, I just…don’t want my life to exist only on a screen. I’ve been trying to be very truthful in my posting style and social media in general, and however it pans out, is how it is.
I too am tired of social media. I always feel like I am missing opportunities, I feel guilty when I am on it and guilty when I am too tired to be on it. I keep thinking I should be doing more. What a weird world we live in when it is brave to admit that we are tired of SM. Mel xx
Wow, lots of comments on this one! I’m sure I’m saying nothing original here… love/hate social media as well. I’m obviously way small beans compared to you, but it’s a TON of work and I’ve just decided to participate in the ways that I want to. Like you said, time is ticking away and not every moment needs to be documented… some moments are just okay to happen and happen off camera. I’m doing my best to not join snapchat and periscope (for now at least). I have not a doubt in my mind, whether you decide to join on that train or not, if you keep creating the lovely things you are doing — people will still keep loving you! Craft on Sugar + Cloth!!
So glad I’m not alone in this! I’m constantly keeping an eye out for that “instagrammable” shot. It feels so forced sometimes, but if I don’t, I’ll totally forget to post for weeks at a time! I usually try to plan my tweets ahead of time (using Buffer) but even finding the time to sit down and do that is rough.
I get the highest anxiety about sharing my design work on Dribbble. “Should I even post this?” “Oh no, I haven’t posted anything in weeks – people are going to think I’m not even working on anything!” etc. So ridiculous… but I guess you have to find that balance between successful marketing and driving yourself crazy. I’m trying to get better at not comparing my feeds to others, but I think I need that little competitive nudge, haha.
I’m 38 so I remember Facebook starting and it was for college kids! Ha! So I didn’t really grow up with social media . . . and to tell you the truth, I’m over it too. I’d shut my FB pages down in two seconds if it weren’t for the fact that sponsors want me to have it. I personally HATEEEEE Facebook. It’s so negative . . . and egotistical . . . and just gross to me. It’s important to me that I keep my pages positive and upbeat. I don’t share anything controversial, political, etc. as I prefer to hash important things out in real life/person. I’m not the daughter of a counselor, but I come from a dysfunctional family so I’ve been to enough of them :D
Besides that, I think a few things – because I use social media both for fun and for work (blogging).
1) If I love the social media, I’ll use it regardless of how good they are for my blogging. I have loved StumbleUpon since day one, and have found some of the most awesome/creative things on the internet on there, so I’d use it even if it didn’t blog. I like Pinterest too. It happens to be the #1 traffic driver for me, so I use it probably more than I would without that, but I like it.
2) For the business part of what I do, I grab user names as soon as possible. Then I decide how much effort I’m going to put into that particular social media. I don’t care about Periscope, Vine, etc and I don’t have time for them. I’m just one woman. Plus I have to earn money – I’m paying a household of bills via my salary . . . so I can only spend so much time on social media that do nothing for my traffic. UNLESS I love them, aka, #1.
3) I just can’t do it all, so some of my social media are the “real” me. I don’t have a beautiful Instagram account – it’s just the real me behind the scenes. I love beautiful Instagram accounts and think it’s great if people do it for their blog or just because they love it . . . I can’t. I need a social outlet that I can just be “me” with crappy lighting and off the cuff shots.
I honestly believe that things were better before a lot of social media, but maybe it’s because I’m getting older :D And I can also say that when I’m not on the computer for the day, or with my phone, and I’m out living life, I feel better! I don’t want to die hooked to my phone, checking my stupid Instagram. Dramatic maybe . . . but completely true.
I love what you have said here on so many levels. I am currently working on a plan to start my own business over the next year, and literally one of my biggest fears is how I will use social media. I check Facebook daily, but I post something personal maybe every-other-year. Ha. I know I’ll have to up my game, but the thought of it consuming my life and, like you said, taking me out of the present as I strive for the perfect fake picture, sounds so very draining. Recently I had a small panic attack when I realized that I had friends coming over in about 20 minutes, but that I hadn’t done anything to make a really special food presentation on the table. I felt this horror that someone might post a pic on Instagram of my dumpy looking table with unstylized refreshments, but then I remembered we’d have a blast regardless of how fancy the table looked. And that it’s okay if every second of my life isn’t glamorous and Pinterest worthy. I think we get so worried about how luxurious something will look online that we don’t ever really relax. Which is ironic. The more fun, chill, and beautiful someone’s life is on social media, the more they are probably stressed and preoccupied with looking cool online, and therefore not ever really relaxed. The end. :)
Keeping up with the latest scares me…I remember thinking Pinterest wasn’t going to take off and took a long time to jump on the bandwagon. What if I’m late again? What if I don’t lock in my name and then end up with some weird variation that won’t tie in with my other outlets? I try to follow what works for me, hence my Periscope/Snapchat/YouTube denials…I don’t do videos. But everyone says I should, tons more traffic, etc.
It is a never-ending struggle to keep relevant in our technology age without fear of burn out . I am so glad to hear I am not the only one!!
Your photos are always beautiful eye candy, but I completely understand! I struggle with social as well, and my followers clearly reflect it. I like to share glimpses of my everyday rather than styled photos that set unrealistic expectations. And the pain of losing followers for showing my front porch – ugh! Social is a job in itself and being social online can cost you being social in person. I agree, everything in moderation. Just know that you’re always inspiring, no matter what you do!
AMEN! I feel the same way. I downloaded snapchat and then deleted it 2 days later because I was like “why am I doing this? This is dumb.”
I agree with all of this so much! I sometimes find the social media side of blogging really overwhelming. I love how it connects everyone but it’s a 24/7 job to be styling and representing your brand on all these channels too (and sometimes I just like retweeting pictures of funny animals!). I didn’t bother with snap chat or periscope as I just wasn’t interested so I figured I wouldn’t have the enthusiasm to do it well enough. I think it’s great to be selective and keep some of your time and some of your life just for you
Hannah xx
I’m still stuck in the mindset that Snapchat is what my nieces and nephews use to sext all their friends. I’m a grandma and can’t figure out how to really use it. And I don’t really have the desire to! That’s okay. I’m learning to let that go. I feel like this all the time, but especially more so now that our social brands are growing and opportunities are presenting themselves more. Sometimes we just have to step back, possibly decline an opportunity that isn’t really going to change our lives, and breath. So many hugs to you. We’ll be together again soon. In Paris. (That’s a quote from the movie “Anastasia”, which is on repeat at my house for my daughter and we watch it when I’m not stalking IG.)
I don’t do much outside of Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and Twitter. Some days, that even feels like too much. When I recently heard of Periscope, I was exhausted just listening to it. I’m far too lazy and just a tinge wary of that. I can handle people looking at my pictures or silly things I say while they poop, but video is just too much.
I feel like I’m being negative.
So, I’d also like to add that social media has added a lot to our culture and I don’t know where I would be without all of my internet pals. Like you said!
Also: I was driven to my wit’s end yesterday. I love dogs, but jeez. Some days you just have to sign off and come back later. I think sometimes we all need a wee break.
Well I’m glad I’m not the only one. I have a feeling that we’re part of the same generation i.e. The Oregon Trail Generation (http://socialmediaweek.org/blog/2015/04/oregon-trail-generation/). I know that when I started my blog, I did it because I love to write and I love food, so I put that together. Simple. What I don’t love is feeling like I need to be “active” on social media putting messages out that just end up feeling a bit empty and forced.
Thank you for speaking out about this! I feel the same way. I mostly use social media to documents events for my own purposes. I’m about to leave for Italy and will be leaving my smartphone at home. Blasphemous, I know but after juggling three different cameras while in Chicago I just got sick of it of trying to post in the moment.
These words are exactly what I have been feeling lately. I am so with you on this and so glad you put your feelings out there. It’s definitely hard to find the balance in everything we do as small business owners, but I just try to stay positive. It’s nice to know I’m not the only on who feels this way!
I really appreciate this post…especially the timing! Here’s the deal, I gave up on Facebook 5 years ago while I was dating my now husband. We decided we didn’t want to get caught up in all of that. I kinda boycotted all forms of social media…not kinda, I did. I didn’t have a single thing. About a year ago, I got Instagram and totally loved it. Once I started blogging (about 4 months ago) I started feeling that pressure you are talking about. I started wondering if I should get Facebook again or join twitter. It was all for the sake of growing the blog. But then I realized..I don’t like Facebook! I don’t like having to think of catchy things to post on Twitter! So why should I force myself to do something I don’t love? And for my blog?!? Now that’s something I love! Whether or not it ever becomes some huge blog with millions of followers, I still enjoy what I do. So I’m going to continue! I’m standing firm against the social media rat race. We should be able to do what we love as much or as little as we doggone want to! :)
I totally support you in this! I’d also love to say that I really commend you both for not staying on social media as newly married, I think especially in our generation things can be very tempting/trying when trying not to compare who’s grass is greener, if you know what I mean! I think in a lot of ways life was simpler before SM!
Ditto on comment about quality over quantity. Authenticity matters just as much too. Social media allows us to play in the field we want, live in the moment but we don’t have to be every field and play in every space. Don’t just celebrate national milkshake day just because everyone else is — you have to think about how the things you create and the things you make will stand out from the sea of other posts and if it is worth your time. Pick and choose “national days” and events that highlight your goals and your brand. I always ask myself, are you creating a visual or brand message that will ultimately lead you to your goals and endeavors? Are you doing it for you or doing it for others?
You already make and create so much awesome work!
Well said!